Cringe-worthy, Sentimental Vaporwave


What do you get when you mix Instagram with seasonal affective disorder? A little something called Vaporwave…

See, when you live in Columbus, Ohio, you have to endure some harsh winters. It sounds horrible, and believe me, it is. But there are some definite perks to staying inside 80% of the time. For one, you get to watch TV in bed and avoid judgment or any remorse for not being outside. You also get to order Indian food and pizza every weekend. For me, all of the above is a reality during the cold months, but what’s even better is that I tend to discover more music during this time each year.

For example, last winter my friends brought home a turntable. We raided some local record stores, shared a few of our favorites, hooked the system up to a couple of monitor speakers, turned on the fog machine like a bunch of assholes, and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Oh, and the boys discovered Jim Post.

Who is Jim Post? Will I, too, love my life if I’m shirtless and under a waterfall?

Well, this winter was a little different…

After throwing in the social media towel a few years back, I decided to give in to Instagram again last fall. At first, it was all fun and games: tagging my closest friends in random, extremely absurdist clips and horrifyingly immature photos. Then, it turned into a genuine, communal interest in “lowbrow” (I hate that term) artists promoting themselves almost solely on Instagram. Pretty neat. In fact, if you haven’t checked out Craig Gleason yet, you absolutely should. At this point in my life, my feed is almost entirely food, Schnauzers, and cats…

For my next Instagram obsession, I’m thinking skateboarding and interior design.

But I digress…

Basically, during that transition from fall to winter, my friends and I were knee-deep in memes. I don’t think we could take life seriously during those few months. But something caught our attention. We noticed that a lot of the clips were playing the same song, and we had NO idea what it was, but we wanted it. Like, ASAP. Well, thanks to the Instagram community, we found out that the song was called, uh… well, actually it’s all in a different language but it’s something about Lisa Frank and 420…

All you need to know is that the artist is Macintosh Plus, the album is called Floral Shoppe, it’s a Diana Ross song spliced and slowed down, and that you need to listen to this:

After a little digging, we discovered that this song is under a generally unknown genre called Vaporwave. Here’s a quick breakdown of the genre:

  1. It began online via Tumblr and Reddit around 2010
  2. It’s obsessed with 80s and 90s culture
  3. Its album covers and music videos can be described as 1980s + Japanese aesthetic (think: Blade Runner) + Tropical + Roman Busts
  4. Its musical origin is largely obscure 80s and 90s elevator music but has since evolved
  5. It’s almost entirely anonymous

I was immediately drawn to this phenomenon because of the distorted, early digital graphic design. It reminded me of a quality the Tim and Eric Awesome Show accomplished. But obviously, it was the music, itself, that truly hooked me. It forced Tom and I into three hours of discussion. You know, the type of conversation you have with someone when you first meet them and really “click.” Life convos. College kids do this a lot. It was weird.

So what sparked such a dramatic conversation between the two of us? Well, a lot of things. Everything mentioned above is worth discussing, but our conversation began the minute we heard what resembled a CD skipping in almost every Vaporwave song.

Let me explain…

Today’s mainstream music has acquired some sort of disco-70s vibe. You could certainly call it nostalgic, but not the way Vaporwave is considered nostalgic. Vaporwave isn’t just incorporating distinct tones of the 80s and 90s; it’s incorporating the entire experience we all remember – CD skips and all.



Hearing it made me feel sick. Not like how I feel when I eat too many gummy worms, but like, anxious and uncomfortable. It’s what Tom described this morning as “a true haunting.” Maybe it’s how my parents felt when I played them a record at my house recently. How is it that we make so many advancements in technology only to revert back to the lesser with appreciation? Kinda pretentious, I know, but bear with me.

It makes a lot of sense how we discovered Vaporwave. According to Marx, “all that is sold melts into air.” Like waves of vapor, right? This music isn’t meant to have a deeper meaning; it’s not supposed to be a song you listen to over and over again. Vaporwave songs will come in and out of your life as quickly as you read this post. Sort of like those memes on Instagram. Sure, you’re allowed to go back and laugh at them, but how often do you do that? Isn’t it true that when something is funny, it loses its luster if you revisit it too often? Plus, those hilarious little 10-year-olds on Instagram are pumping out, like, 30+ memes a day. Same goes for Vaporwave. I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but there isn’t enough time to appreciate them all, my friends.

It’s ostentatious. It’s obscure. It’s angsty, controversial, nostalgic, and anonymous. Oh, how fun. Don’t listen to me ramble on and on about it for much longer. Check it all out at

Oh and hey, here’s some good music:



Date Night at The Guild House

Thomas and I like to think of ourselves as a “let’s eat pizza in bed” type of couple, but this past Sunday, we put on our fancy hats and hit the Short North for a date night. Ohio received some beautiful weather this weekend, so we weren’t about to take that for granted. That being said, I was exhausted yesterday from exposing myself to so much sunlight. It’s like I was a vampire over the winter – I chose to wear a dress to blind everyone with my pale legs. Needless to say, I am ready for this warmth and sunshine to stay!

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Bourbon and grapefruit juice… this may become my summer drink

I wasn’t sure where Tom and I were headed the other night; he made surprise reservations, though, so I knew it would be something good. Not to my surprise, it exceeded my expectations.

The Guild House is one of the many Cameron Mitchell restaurants popping up in the Columbus area. And to be perfectly honest, this one is the best. I’ve been to almost all of his restaurants and I can attest to their accommodating service and impeccable eats. We were greeted by the maitre d’ with warmth and enthusiasm. He checked on us periodically and made sure I had everything I needed in terms of my gluten allergy. Speaking of which, the gluten-free rolls were incredible – moist, flavorful, and fresh. I love the bread Cameron Mitchell uses in his restaurants. They never taste too grainy or spongy, like most do.

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Perfectly sculpted hair, Tom

It should be noted that the food here is exceptional, and I’m not just saying this because Thomas knows the executive chef, himself. Sure, we expected the food to be delicious, but this blew our minds. The scallops were as soft as butter, and melted in your mouth as such, bursting with flavor. I had to hold myself back from throwing the fork behind me, grabbing them all with my hands and shoving them into my mouth like a barbarian. But I’m a lady sometimes and people were watching. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t in the sanctity of my own home, dipping garlic bread in butter and binge-watching Bob’s Burgers.

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Finally, something that isn’t bread, tomato sauce, and pepperoni.

Thomas ordered the chicken roulade, easily the star of the show. Our fabulous waiter informed us that this chicken takes about three days to make, and we understand why. Chicken can be very boring, but it can also be very flavorful, depending on how you marinade it, etc, etc… However, this was matchless. You cannot make this at home, guys. The best chicken I’ve ever had. Period. End of story. Need I say more?

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The price is high for smaller portion sizes, but this is quality dining and to be expected. My suggestion would be to order side dishes in addition to your meal, however, you’ll obviously be paying more for this. In terms of parking, there’s a parking garage right across the street where you’ll pay around $5, but they do offer valet for $10. Otherwise, the Short North can be highly trafficked so be sure to arrive early enough to scour the area for a spot.

I think I’ve said enough to lure you into a date night at the renowned Guild House. John Paul Iacobucci’s Italian heritage and artistic approach to food is a genius addition to Cameron Mitchell’s unforgettable dining experience. Bravo. Beautiful interior design, outstanding service, incredible cuisine… This is the new Columbus staple, no doubt.

  • Food = 5/5 Stars
  • Price = $$$
  • Service = 5/5 Stars
  • Location = 5/5 Stars
  • Atmosphere = 5/5 Stars
  • Website
  • Menu


100 Years of Family Dinners

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I love it when food videos go viral. Last week, I watched what my older siblings, parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents ate for dinner through the years. All in three minutes. It’s called “100 Years of Family Dinners” – watch here:

Thank GOD spam isn’t a thing anymore. Or fondue. I could definitely bring back roast beef and franconia potatoes, though.

There’s plenty to notice in this video, but the most obvious stands out: each meal reflects its own time period. Take TV dinners, for example. During WWII, food shortages introduced newly created processed foods. This was also a time when television was becoming a new-found phenomenon in America. Put the two together, and you’ve got yourself a TV dinner – the beginning of convenience meals.

Of course, everyone remembers taco night in the 90s. It was an easy choice for all those picky eaters (like me) who could choose their toppings without screaming at mom. Just kidding, I wasn’t that mean. We were all just in a constant sugar high during the 90s. No big.

But let’s talk about the last one: salmon, quinoa pilaf, and a kale salad. I wouldn’t say it’s on my list of dinner ideas, but it exemplifies the biggest trending foods out there right now: kale and quinoa. It also supports the foodie-health-nut phase we’re in. It’s not a bad thing until people become pretentious about it *throws shade at hipsters*.

Basically, each meal evolved into something vastly different, and I wonder if it has something to do with the conflicting health studies that emerged in each decade. Atkins told us carbs were bad one year, and the next year, we were told they’re okay… but in moderation. So we’ve adjusted our meals as such. But what’s funny is that every meal in this video includes some sort of carb. Almost half of the meals, however, do not include a vegetable. Hm…

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And what’s the deal with eggs? Can I eat them every day? Seriously, guys, please let me know.

This video was meant to make you think, just like all of Mode’s videos are meant to do. They just happen to be extremely enjoyable, too. For the past week, I’ve been wondering what I often include/exclude in my dinners. Am I incorporating enough vegetables? Is there something to be said about what everyone was eating in the 1920s?

I love food videos…


What’s for Dinner? My Version of a Kid’s Meal

I can’t take any credit for the star of my dinner this week. Catie and her boyfriend have been kicking butt with Whole30 lately and inspired me to make THESE:

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They look like ordinary chicken fingers. They smell like ordinary chicken fingers. But they’re even better. They’re HEALTHY. Yeah, yeah, I know, you’ve heard it all before, but I mean it. My nutritionist even made these after I told her about them. That’s a huge win, everyone! Dietitian recommended (I probably can’t say that…).

In any case, I got the recipe from Generation Y Foodie after my two little love birds ate a similar dish a couple of weeks ago. They’re paleo almond chicken fingers, with a little bit of a kick from the added cayenne pepper and paprika. If you want to make them unhealthy, dip them in maple syrup. It sounds insane, and it is. The sugar really balances out the salty (read: A Balancing Act of the Sweet and Savory and you’ll see what I mean).


Alright. Now what? The obvious side dish for chicken tenders would be french fries, right? Of course. Try breaking out the ol’ cast iron skillet and roasting up some red-skinned potatoes. Throw in some Brussels sprouts and onions, while you’re at it. This may not be deep-fried goodness, but it’s a healthy twist on a classic side dish.

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Okay, so maybe my potato-to-Brussels sprout ratio is off…

I love a colorful dish like this – especially when it includes green (lookin’ at you, Brussels sprouts). You can use any skillet you want with this, but the cast iron gives the potatoes a nice sear. Caramelized onions can add a lot of flavor without you having to reach for too much salt. I’ve included the recipe below.

I know I’m being my mother right now and not including exact measurements for each ingredient, but it’s really up to you how much you want to make. There are no wrong answers here.


  • Red-skinned potatoes
  • Brussels sprouts
  • Red onion
  • Olive oil
  • Salt and pepper, to taste


  1. Cut up the Brussels sprouts, potatoes, and red onion. Make sure your potatoes and sprouts are cut into bite-sized pieces and your onion is diced into much smaller pieces.
  2. Heat a 10-inch or larger cast iron skillet over medium heat with a drizzle of olive oil. Meanwhile, put your potatoes and onions in a mixing bowl. Add olive oil and mix. You want these to be pretty coated, but not too much. Just enough to lightly cover most of the mixture.
  3. Throw your potatoes and onions into the cast iron skillet. Using a wooden spoon, spread the mixture so that it’s evenly distributed across the skillet.
  4. Cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.
  5. After 15 minutes, add in your Brussels sprouts and cook for another 5 minutes, or until the potatoes and sprouts are soft.
  6. Take your skillet off the heat and let it cool. The potatoes usually soften even more during this time.
  7. Serve with almond chicken tenders…

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There you have it. A healthy twist on a kid’s meal. A happy meal, if you will…


4 Random Weekend Realizations

While everyone else was out having a life this weekend, I spent most of mine in pajamas, practicing new tips and tricks in the kitchen and watching TV. All within three days, Tom and I managed to cook the best breakfast for dinner we’ve ever had, screw it up the next morning, cut up a chicken for the first time, watch 90s Nickelodeon commercials for hours, and sorta-kinda fail at frying chicken (it ended with me ugly-crying in Tom’s arms and hoping we didn’t get Salmonella – spoiler: we didn’t).

Tom and I woke up Monday morning exhausted, yet all the more educated. Here’s what we learned:

1. Cutting a whole chicken into eight pieces is difficult

I was really grateful to have Tom in the kitchen with me this weekend, especially when it came time to cutting a whole chicken. I must have watched an instructional video five times before actually doing it, and I STILL needed to watch it as I went. So, you can imagine how nice it was to have someone press play and pause on command. But the most challenging aspect of cutting a chicken was lacking the right set of tools. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a chef’s knife, so we had to put some elbow grease into it. Make sure you do the following when cutting a chicken for the first time:

  • Use a chef’s knife for almost all of the cutting
  • Poultry shears come in handy when cutting the breast bone
  • When cutting for the first time, have an assistant in the kitchen with you while you watch this ten times:


2. Millennials don’t eat cereal anymore – and it’s not because we’re too lazy

I read an article on Friday saying Millennials didn’t eat cereal anymore. The reason? We’re too lazy to wash our spoon and bowl. Crazy, right? I didn’t buy into it, either. Well, after gorging on 90s commercials this weekend, I was convinced the article was a fallacy. There’s a reason we aren’t eating cereal anymore, and it’s not because we’re too lazy… it’s because we were eating dessert for breakfast. I mean, come on, do any of you remember what a “complete and balanced breakfast” was considered in the 90s? A bowl of sugar and milk, orange juice, and a plate full of buttery toast. Sure, it was delicious, but no wonder I was sleeping at my desk by 10AM in grade school – I was crashing.

“Here’s your balanced breakfast, honey. Oh, and I packed you a cold, floppy, Lunchable pizza to help you get through the rest of your day.”

But don’t blame mom. She thought SlimFast was a meal.

3. Water in the skillet is the best trick for cooking perfect bacon

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Part of your balanced 2016 breakfast

Cooking bacon in a skillet can be really messy. But I read a little trick to eliminate the majority of splatter from bacon grease sizzling on the stove: adding water. What you want to do is start off with a cold skillet. Line your bacon up in the skillet and then pour enough water in to cover the bottom. Then, put your skillet on the stove, turn to medium-high heat, and wait for the water to boil off (about eight minutes). Make sure to flip your bacon once within those eight minutes. Then, once the water is almost completely evaporated, turn your heat down to medium and flip until crispy. Easy-peasy.

4. The most frustrating way to cook chicken is by frying it

But it can have a yummy outcome, if you do it the right way…

Hey, here’s an interesting fact: oil heats up quicker than water because the heat capacity of oil is lower than the heat capacity of water. I’m really smart and totally knew that…

Yeah, so frying chicken can be easy if you can get the oil at the right temperature, which is really difficult to measure. Tom discovered an easy way to do it, though. Try dipping a wooden spoon into the oil – if it bubbles, it’s ready. I suggest turning your heat to medium and testing with the wooden spoon a couple minutes into heating the oil. Then, once your oil is ready, give the chicken 10-12 minutes to fry. The trick is making sure the oil isn’t too hot, or else your breading will burn and your chicken won’t cook thoroughly… (cue my ugly-crying)


In short: This weekend was an emotional roller coaster in the kitchen. Let’s face it – teaching yourself how to cook isn’t a walk in the park; you’re going to fail at times. But it’s important to laugh at the failures and celebrate the successes – even the minor ones.

Oh, and one last tip: if all else fails, old Nickelodeon cartoons are always the best remedy for a happy ending.


The Forgotten Basic Essentials

One of my favorite birthday gifts I received last month was the Kitchn’s official cookbook. In addition to recipes every cook should have in their back pocket, it includes chapters covering kitchen organization, key cooking tips, and entertaining advice – all important details that are usually absent and forgotten from traditional cookbooks.

I recently lent this to my dad and I’ve regretted it ever since

Okay, so this got me thinking – how often do I forget the basics? I’m not just talking about the proper way to chop garlic; I’m talking about the food we love – the kind that’s so simple, we often take it for granted. I’ve compiled a small list of favorites as a reminder to us all:

1. Scrambled Eggs

My sister and her now-husband lived with my family before they bought their first place as a married couple. One of the perks of living with them? I’d wake up every Sunday morning to the smell of them cooking breakfast for us. I was so spoiled and never had to cook my own… so by the time I was in college, I attempted to cook scrambled eggs for my roommates and I burnt them.

How stupid do you have to be to mess up scrambled eggs? Well, after a few more practice rounds, I got the hang of it. Now that I’m older and more sophisticated (lol), I’ve learned how to make some AMAZING scrambled eggs *pats self on back*. Friends don’t let other friends burn scrambled eggs. You’re welcome.


  • 5 eggs
  • Milk
  • Butter
  • Cheese
  • Salt
  • Pepper


  1. Crack all of your eggs into a mixing bowl and whisk. You can use a regular whisk or a fork. The trick is to use your wrist when whisking. Make sure it all turns completely yellow and that there aren’t any lumps.
  2. Add a splash of milk. Don’t add too much, don’t add too little. Pretty straightforward, right? Sorry. Use a splash for every five eggs. You want them to be fluffy, not liquid-y.
  3. Add salt and pepper. I’d say about a teaspoon of salt and a pinch of pepper. Whisk the mixture.
  4. Meanwhile, add a half of a tablespoon of butter to a skillet and turn it on medium heat.
  5. While your butter is heating up, add cheese to the whisked, egg mixture. If you are using slices, I’d use two slices and rip them up into 1-inch pieces. If you’re using shredded, add 1/3 of a cup (you can always add more later as the eggs are cooking). Stir. NOTE: Try using softer cheese. It’ll melt better and have a gooey texture. If you use harder cheeses, you’re more likely to get a plastic texture.
  6. Once your cheese is added into the mixture, check your butter in the skillet. Lift the skillet and tilt it in each direction to spread the melted butter around. Set it back down, wet your fingers with water and flick it on the skillet. If it bubbles and you hear sizzling, it’s ready.
  7. Slowly pour your egg mixture into the skillet. Let it sit for a few seconds and then stir it with a wooden spoon or spatula. The trick is to keep it moving – don’t let it sit for too long or else it might burn or get rubbery. Keep stirring it every few seconds.
  8. When they’re getting close to being done, feel free to add more cheese.
  9. Once the liquid is absorbed and the eggs look fluffy, serve immediately. Add more salt and pepper, if desired.

2. Mashed Potatoes

I can’t take full credit for making these perfect mashed potatoes; Catie gave me an awesome recipe recently – so I’ve combined our efforts into the recipe below. Mashed potatoes can be so simple, you don’t even need a hand mixer to make them, but you MUST follow these steps.


  • 5 russet or red-skinned potatoes
  • Salt
  • Minced garlic
  • Shredded cheese
  • Butter
  • Potato peeler
  • Whisk or hand mixer


  1. Peel all of your potatoes. It doesn’t need to be perfect, just do the best you can.
  2. After the potatoes are peeled, cut each potato into fourths. This helps the potatoes cook faster and evenly.
  3. Throw (but not really; be gentle…) the potatoes into a larger pot and fill the pot with enough water to cover the potatoes. Add salt and put a lid on the pot. NOTE: Adding salt and keeping the lid on the pot helps speed up the process.
  4. Put the pot on the stove and set to high heat. Wait for the water to boil and then turn down the heat so it’s at a rolling boil. Set your timer for 15-20 minutes. This is usually how long is takes to cook potatoes all the way through.
  5. To test if your potatoes are cooked, stick a fork in each. If the fork slides in very easily, they’re ready.
  6. Once your potatoes are ready, strain the water out. Add the potatoes to a mixing bowl and using your whisk or your hand mixer, mix potatoes a little so they mash.
  7. Add 1/4 cup of milk, a tablespoon of salt, a cup of shredded cheese, and a tablespoon of butter. Continue to mix.
  8. Keep adding more milk little by little until potatoes have a fluffy texture. Feel free to add more butter, too. Again, it’s about adding a little bit as you go. You don’t want them too clumpy or too liquid-y, so you’ll have to taste-test as you go.
  9. Add your minced garlic at the end. The amount is entirely up to you. I usually add about two tablespoons. Feel free to add more salt here, too. These puppies don’t even need gravy.

3. Grilled Cheese

Tom is the grilled cheese master, hands down. The trick here is to make sure the cheese is soft – it’s as straightforward as that. Sometimes I like to think I have a more refined palette, but that goes out the window when I tell everyone that Velveeta is the best cheese for a mouth-watering grilled cheese…

If you hate the thought of using Velveeta, trust me, I understand. Please do yourself a favor, though, and use soft cheese. Qualifiers include American, Swiss, Monterey Jack, cheddar, or fontina. Also, if you have the time, you should read the Kitchn’s 5 Mistakes to Avoid When Making Grilled Cheese.


  • 2 slices of bread
  • 1 tbsp butter
  • 1/4 cup grated cheese, or 1 slice


  1. Place a skillet over medium heat, add butter, and let it melt completely. Just like you did with your eggs, you’ll want to wet your hands, flick it on the butter, and if it sizzles, it’s ready. Spread the butter around with a spatula.
  2. Rub a piece of bread in the melted butter. You only need to rub one side.
  3. Pile your cheese on top of the bread in the skillet. Cover the pan with a lid and let the cheese melt until it’s almost entirely melted, but you can still see some distinct cheese pieces, 2 to 3 minutes. In the meantime, butter your other piece of bread on one side.
  4. Top the sandwich with the other piece of bread (buttered side up). Squish slightly so the top adheres to the melted cheese. Flip the sandwich over.
  5. Cook until toasted golden brown, about 1 to 2 minutes. Feel free to flip over again, if you want the other side more toasted. Serve immediately.

Okay, so that’s your basic grilled cheese. I’ve heard of people adding veggies, such as jalapenos. You should get creative, but learn to master a perfect grilled cheese first.

The moral of the story? Never stop playing with your food, even the most basic recipes. Don’t take these meals for granted! *steps off soapbox*


A Balancing Act of the Sweet and Savory

Pretzels and M&Ms. Kettle corn. Sweet and Salty Combos

Are you picking up what I’m putting down? I’m talking about all food sweet and savory. And even though I don’t necessarily care for any of the snacks listed above, I’m certainly not writing off its intention! My main gripe about these sweet and salty staples lies in its two extreme flavors melding together in a 1:1 ratio. “Well, that’s the point, you idiot,” one might say. I’m crazy, I know, but hear me out! The secret is a balancing act – a sweet and savory dish doesn’t have to be as simple as 2 + 2 = 4. Rather, it should be an imbalanced equation (without the high school chemistry classes…).

To be honest, I’m more of a chip girl, anyway

Creating a sweet and savory dish with complex flavors doesn’t have to be, well, complex. Take stir-fry, for example. A simple stir-fry usually involves oil, rice, vegetables, meat, and a sauce such as soy or teriyaki. Why not take it a step further by adding honey, coconut oil, or brown sugar? Trust me, it’s a delicious spin on traditional stir-fry without being overpowering; we’re complementing the flavors that already exist in stir-fry.

Meatloaf is another savory, traditional meal. Everyone has a recipe, and it’s almost always good. Bread crumbs, eggs, lean meat, salt, pepper, boom. But let’s turn up the heat a little. Whisk together 1/4 cup of ketchup, two tablespoons of brown sugar, and a dash of mustard in a bowl. Pour it on top of the meatloaf and whoa, hey guys, you’ve added another element to your meatloaf you’ve never dreamed could be real.

You know what? I’m feeling dangerous. Let’s go even further with this. Meat. Loaf. Sandwiches. MEATLOAF SANDWICHES. AHHHH! THEY’RE SO GOOD! Seriously. And what’s better than putting meatloaf on bread? I’ll tell you: it’s putting meatloaf on French Brioche, topped with that crazy ketchup/brown sugar sauce and Monterey Jack cheese. It’s the ultimate comfort food – the hint of sweetness from the brioche complements the tang of the sauce, all the while balancing the savory meatloaf and cheese. The smell of these flavors merging in the toaster oven comes to life, lifts you off your feet, and entices you into the kitchen, leaving a trail of drool behind you.

And while you’re at it, go watch a cartoon while you indulge in these taste sensations…

For all of you kettle corn fans out there, I hope I haven’t offended thee. We cool?